I do also like other stuff. Amongst other stuff is... coffee.
For a while now i'd wanted to try growing coffee, and some(substantial)time ago even ordered some potentially sproutable seeds off the interweb. These entirely failed to sprout.
A few weeks ago we were at a nearby nursery where i spotted some coffee plants and decided to get one.
Had a look at the instructions. decided to pay attention to some, ignore others:
prune plants blah blah blah...
something something frosts blahbity blah...
make your own home made coffee; woohoo!
sum takeaway: make short blacks and ice coffees
and put it in a spare pot....
It looked like the plant was handling the situation (didn't wilt, whither or spontaneously combust). Then i changed my mind and decided to try putting one coffee plant on each side of the upstairs pergola. So went and got another one and worked out what size pot i'd put them in....
New pots - now with added textureness (c/o parklea markets for the locals). Should be enough room for them to grow into. Plus also not be so tiny that the soil fries the roots - we're approaching summer and have already had one heatwave day.
So i potted them up downstairs to avoid soil and mess on the pergola, and then carried them up to the pergola.
These suckers are HEAVY and also very difficult to get a decently grip on (being round, wide, and no hand holds). At a guess they may have been somewhere in the 60-80kg range (but my weight guesses are typically poor).
After a week sitting up there i decided that they would end up (water) marking the floor too much even with dishes under them so back downstairs they went, where they now guard the stairs. Additionally, we had a very typical sydney-summer storm with some crazy high speed winds that whipped the plants about more than was desirable. [yes, i actually paid attention to the label part that said 'protect from strong winds']
Will look at making a temporary greenhouse for them IF they manage to make it through to the colder months. And yes, I'm aware that it doesn't get cherries for 3-5 years...
If you were to bet on my chances of actually tasting a single homegrown bean as being 'slim' i'd say you were being optimistic.
Anyway, at THIS point in time i think this makes me the most successful coffee farmer in my lineage, definitely on this block of land, also of anyone i know, and possibly on my street.
And if that doesn't scream SUCCESS i don't know what does.
Time for a celebratory latte.
[Later]
It occurred to me that a temporary greenhouse for a 2-3 meter tree would be a big ol tent. The aim is to keep the trees at a maximum of 2 meters tall (including pots). So plenty of pruning.
I did see some picture on the internet supposedly of a bonsai coffee tree, beans and all. May have been a different variety though.
Until next time...
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