No, you're not missing the first part of a multi-part post. This is not a series.
This is... something of a vent... a rant... a way of putting down something somewhere so I don't reply to a post that pissed me off. I feel I may be going on tangents, but screw it, this is my blog.
That Guy
For the non-hobbyists, "That Guy" is a term for someone who hobbies who is, for one or more reasons, deemed unpleasant, i.e. "Don't be like that guy."
Generally, these points of friction come down to social ineptitude.
Hobbyists are sometimes considered anti-social, misfits, nerds... etc.
However, in my experience hobbyists (those with social nouse, which is the vast majority by the way) are decent people, enthusiastic, friendly, intelligent, helpful, courteous, and fun to hang out with.
The stereotypical "That Guy" is unwashed and stinky, picks up other people models with cheeto covered fingers without asking, and hovers over games giving unwanted and unsolicited advice and commentary.
There are very few people actually like that, again, in my experience. I've met, personally, none, though perhaps certain environments attract certain types of people.
Perhaps the adage that if you don't know who the slut in your group is then it's probably you may apply.
An aside...
Most of us are aware of those types of things and avoid doing them. Which is just basic courtesy.
Everyone I know asks before picking up models. We don't interject in games, or if we really have the urge will do it subtly or just save it for later, or when it's not important *.
* this is another one that really gets my goat (probably because I encounter it more than the other more obvious things). If you have a cunning strategy lined up and someone comes up and points it out, "ooouh, you better watch out for the xyz unit sitting there, they're deadly. hahahah!" That makes me furious. It happens. It's annoying.
I was at Cancon playing a tournament... at least 2 years ago, maybe 3... anyways. It was stinking hot, being the middle of summer in Australia, which is hot . And humid.
Anyways, we were in a large hall with hundreds of people, with no aircon to speak of, and playing for hours.
I went though 5 tee-shirts on both of the 2 days we played, having spares in my bag and also in my car because I knew it was going to be nuts. I even bought a non-descript shirt at a stall when I ran out on day one. Used deodorant of course, but it was just super hot... and I sweat... not by choice.
Point being that I was aware of the situation and did what I could to try to minimise or mitigate the issue. Not sure how much it helped, but at least I tried.
So what's the point?
We have in our sphere an alternate That Guy who is more of a socially-awkward-to-the-point-of-toxic type.
Post 1: "Hope everyone had an epic Jan meet!"
Post2: "Not really I did not have the phone number of the guy who said he would attend in January to play a game of xyz, and he did not turn up. I played a game of xyz on my own and left after 2.5 hours."
Some background...
This persons is definitely on the social interaction groups (above post from there obviously) so they have the ability to work out what is going on. They have the ability to communicate.
This is a person who insists on bringing only a couple of games types that they want to play. There are polls on the group saying "whatcha playing?" so people can plan to tee up something appropriate before the day.
Yet this person brings their stuff and when they inevitably don't get a game they get huffy. For the last... 3 meets now they've played solo games, in what I consider a passive aggressive manifestation.
The games played at the club change in cycles, sometime game xyz is popular for a few months, then it switches to game abc, then on to something else. This is sometimes referred to as... blerk... 'meta'.
Typically I personally have been involved (played) in popular systems within the club. BUT, if everyone decides "hey, we're playing ghi game for a couple of months." then I'm not going to crack a shit about it. I have stuff I like, stuff I don't, but what I won't do is insist that they play stuff I like. That's super childish and would classify me as a That Guy in my own opinion.
I know that if I didn't want to invest in a whole set of new models for something I probably am not going to want to pursue long term (i.e. I dislike 'fantasy' settings, i.e. medieval elves and dwarfs and knights etc), then I could probably borrow some models from a game buddy in order to get involved and play along with everyone else. I'm open to trying stuff.
If I rock up to the club, set out a monopoly board and insist that somehow someone owes me a game, then I wouldn't be surprised to lose (whatever little) standing I might have within the group.
And the hobby sphere is a small one. Once you know people well enough (games buddies) you can get away with some (light hearted) shenanigans. But if you isolate yourself by bad behaviour then people won't want to play with you, and then you're screwed.
Additionally with the prevalence of online interaction, people beyond your immediate sphere can hear of your (bad) rep which can make getting games even harder.
The hobby is a swinging door. If you really like a game then suggest it, organise something, but be open to other people's interests as well. Courtesy.
Why?
Why am I writing this?
I'm tempted to reply to the post with some options and suggestions. This is in part wanting to help, in part being frustrated by the negativity it's adding to the group (which tbh is quite superficial, perhaps mildly amusing).
I'm not looking for conflict but this person's ongoing attitude, and inability to acknowledge the situation is grating with a few people who don't deserve it. Like most of us nerds I don't need to be in a situation where I rock up to meet day and have someone to avoid due to bad blood.
At the end of day I can overlook their shortcomings, we all have them, and I appreciate people overlooking mine.
On the other hand it's frustrating and sometimes you just want to shake someone and yell "wake up to yourself" in their face.
But, I'm not their parent, relative, or otherwise obliged to tell them how to behave. They're definitely adults (as in grey beard) and it's up to them to make their own decisions.
Things would go easier for them and people might be more inclined to accommodate their interests if they didn't piss people off. And they do.
I know I'm no longer willing to waste a meet day doing stuff with them as I may have previously.
It's not great that such discussions about said post do happen out of hours so to speak.
At the end of the day does it matter? Nope. In a group of misfits does it matter if someone is a bit misfit-ier than others? Also nope. Hobbyists are generally a tolerant bunch in real world terms, despite hard held fanaticism regarding our particular games, factions, and nerdy inclinations.
It's not really my loss.
Rant complete.
Until next time.
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